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Apr. 20th, 2013

dr. horrible evil laugh

(no subject)

WE WILL SHUT THE WHOLE CITY DOWN TO FIND YOU, MOFO.

No, really. The whole city, and various surrounding towns, were on complete lockdown yesterday. The police literally went door to door searching homes and businesses. And please do not get started on violation of constitutional rights. If a fucking terrorist was hiding out in your backyard, you'd be pretty damn happy for the police to kick down your door in order to apprehend them. TRUTH.

Apr. 18th, 2013

dr. horrible evil laugh

Boston, you're my home

So, Boston. I don't even know, guys. I work about 2 miles from the bombings, and thankfully all friends/family/coworkers/acquaintances are accounted for. Two of my coworkers were spectators, so it was very tense in the office until we heard directly from them that they were ok.

So we have funny accents, and we're drunks, and we're obnoxious at baseball games, but we are Boston. WE ARE BOSTON. Love.

Mar. 10th, 2013

dr. horrible evil laugh

(no subject)

I JUST CREAMED MYSELF.

Feb. 26th, 2013

dr. horrible evil laugh

(no subject)

SO. I was chastised at work for using the word "cunt". Not, mind you, because of the act of swearing. But just the use of that word. And by a guy no less! Okay so, he's like 22, and was a Gender Studies minor at some liberal arts college in New York, and totally adorable, and white. And he was like, "I'm rather offended by that word". And I was like, "WELL TOO BAD CUZ I LOVES IT, PRECIOUS."

It's not like I called anyone else a cunt. I said something along the lines of, "Sometimes I can be a cunt". I mean, hand-to-God, I rather like that word. You know what word I hate?! Pussy.

Feb. 24th, 2013

dr. horrible evil laugh

(no subject)

AARON TVEIT ON THE OSCARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Feb. 5th, 2013

dr. horrible evil laugh

What the what

God knows that the world needs to be less judgmental, but whenever I see someone with a neck tattoo I can't help but think, "Good luck on your life-long career at WalMart."

You know what I mean, jellybean?

Jan. 9th, 2013

dr. horrible evil laugh

fml

It's done. Driver in jail. Mom still dead.

http://www.patriotledger.com/homepage/breaking/x1781254587/Stoughton-woman-gets-two-years-for-fatal-crash-in-Canton-FACES-DEPORTATION?img=2

Dec. 31st, 2012

dr. horrible evil laugh

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S AND PLZ DO NOT BE KILLING ANYONE'S MOTHER TONIGHT OKAY THANKS

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Dec. 23rd, 2012

dr. horrible evil laugh

Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

HELLO PEOPLES OF THE LIVEJOURNAL. Long time no talk. Sometimes I forget I even have this. You know what I hate? When I say like, Happy Holidays to someone, and they're like "WHY CAN'T YOU SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS? WHAT'S WRONG WITH MERRY CHRISTMAS?! ARE YOU AGAINST CHRISTMAS?! ARE YOU AT WAR WITH CHRISTMAS?! YOU HATE JESUS DON'T YOU!!!"

I mean.

Speaking of baby Jesus, the pagan winter solstice is upon us! I have not completed my shopping, as per usual. Yet again, it will be me and all the husbands storming Macy's on Christmas Eve going, "OK WHAT'S LEFT."

Also, update on court case: On Thursday we have our final pre-trial hearing. APPARENTLY IN THE STATE OF MASSACHUSETTS, YOU CAN DRIVE DRUNK AND KILL SOMEONE'S MOTHER AND HAVE THE OPTION OF CHOOSING A ONE-YEAR PLEA BARGAIN OR TAKE YOUR CHANCES WITH A TRIAL IN WHICH YOUR DEFENSE LAWYER WILL MOTION TO SUPPRESS ALL EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU SO THAT YOU CAN SERVE THE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF JAIL TIME. AND THE FAMILY OF THE PERSON YOU KILLED CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT.

And with that, Shitter's full.

Nov. 9th, 2012

dr. horrible evil laugh

(no subject)

SO GET THIS, RIGHT.

My parents have been best friends with another couple in Chile for over 40 years. This couple is one of my sister's godparents. When we moved to the States in the 80s, my parents left a couple of open bank accounts there. The wife had Power of Attorney rights for my parents so she could conduct any monetary business on their behalf, and the husband had other legal rights over some property my parents had. So over the years, they've done quite a bit for my parents. For example, my mom has a sickly sister in Chile, so the wife would withdraw money from my parent's accounts to cover her health expenses. The husband was able to successfully negotiate a great price for my parent's apartment when they decided to sell it. You know, things like that. My parents trusted them 100%. Although my mom never returned to Chile, my dad went back every 5 years or so, and this couple were the first people he would spend time with.

So when my mom died unexpectedly, my dad went to Chile for a few weeks to have a memorial service with my mom's family and friends down there, and also to shore up any loose ends. It was a sad trip, certainly not for vacation purposes. The husband didn't go to the service, which my dad thought was uber-weird, and was really hurt by. He couldn't get a clear answer from the wife, so he left the matter alone. Upon his return, my dad got a call from the husband that went something like this:

Guy: I want to know what your intentions toward my wife are.
Dad: What?
Guy: The only times she's ever happy anymore is when you guys talk.
Dad: We chat on Facebook!
Guy: She wears lipstick when you visit.
Dad: I visit once every five years!
Guy: Is there something going on that I should know about?
Dad: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU CRACKHEAD.

So then this week he gets a letter from the wife saying she is revoking her Power of Attorney privileges and wants nothing more to do with us because - get this - she doesn't want to risk her marriage.

WHAT.

Does this make sense to anyone? Because it sure sounds like crazysauce to the rest of us here. My father is absolutely flabbergasted and hurt, and I am furious that they would dare to question my father's character, especially when he is still reeling from my mother's death. And it's so out of the blue, so out of character for them, that the only explanation that I can think of is that they were having problems in their marriage and are using my father as a scapegoat of sorts. Which is shady and awful and makes me even more pissed because they were supposed to be my mother's best friends, and they have completely insulted her memory with their nonsense. Everyone we've talked to about this (that also know this couple) are like WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Nobody can comprehend what the hell is going on, or what brought this on.

My mom would be LOLOLOLOLOLOL at the thought of my dad having an affair. Heh.

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